


the only song (i want to hear)

by CloudCover (RainyForecast)



Series: Hockey RPF Tumblr Prompts [21]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5 Headcanons Prompt, Demisexual!Sid, M/M, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyForecast/pseuds/CloudCover
Summary: Sid knows, okay. He’s known since he was 13 what he was and wasn’t going to be able to have.Anonymous asked:lonely, touch-starved sid au





	the only song (i want to hear)

1\. Sid knows, okay. He’s known since he was 13 what he was and wasn’t going to be able to have. His dream of NHL hockey would mean giving some things up. The ugly things the parents and other kids scream at him when he plays send the message home loud and clear. 

 

 

2\. It’s okay. He wonders sometimes if he’s something else, maybe, that doesn’t want  _anybody_. He hears people talk about wanting other people and it always sounds foreign, overblown. He doesn’t like anyone enough to want them all over him, touching him .Looking at him.  Until Shattuck, until Jack. He doesn’t know what it means, then, that after a fews months of getting to know Jack, Sid craves his body against his like he’s never wanted anyone before. He knows better, though, then ever to let Jack find out. 

 

 

3\. He loose his virginity his rookie year in the NHL, mostly to get it over with. It’s fine. He’s fine. Sometimes, during friendly bro-hugs from his teammates, he finds himself wishing he could sink into them. Stay longer. Just to ground himself. But he can’t, or people will find out. Keeping his friends from trying to set him up or wingman is an ordeal. 

 

 

4\. Evgeni Malkin is special. Sid gravitates to him like he’s magnetic. His hockey is incredible, his smile is warm. Sid loves his sly sense of humor, loves getting to know him more and more as his English improves. He doesn’t  _want_  Malkin, really, but even Sid can see that the long lines of him are beautiful. “You talk about Geno a lot,” Sid’s mother says to him on the phone one day. Sid blinks. He hadn’t realized. 

 

 

5\. They’ve known each other, been friends with each other, for six years when Sid looks over at him, eyes tracing the familiar planes of his face, the sleepy warmth of his eyes, the full curve of his lips, and realizes he wants. He wants Geno to touch him. 

 

 

5+1 And now Sid can’t stop looking. Can’t stop yearning for Geno’s huge hands on his body, his mouth on Sid’s neck, his fingers tangled in Sid’s hair. What would it be like, Sid wonders, to make Geno feel  _good_? 

During the worst days of the concussion Sid curls up in bed, feeling empty and about to crawl out of his skin. He needs. He needs desperately for someone besides doctors to touch him. Ground him. 

When Geno’s knee gets injured, he starts spending time with Sid. Sid lies on the couch with his eyes closed and listens to Geno tell him whats happening on the tv. One day Geno falls unexpectedly silent, and when Sid opens his eyes to see why he stopped, Geno is staring at him. 

When Sid asks him what’s wrong, Geno gives him a tight smile and won’t say. 

But he keeps doing it. Looking at Sid. 

When Sid is finally able to return to the ice, some of the ache eases, with backslaps and cellys and manly hugging. But he and Geno’s eyes still seem to constantly find each other. And he can’t make himself not want him. 

Geno is the one to kiss him. In the weight room, after staying late. Geno pins Sid to the exercise mats and kisses him, and Sid  _lights on fire._  

Fitting himself into Geno’s arms feels better than broken-in skates, than fresh ice. Geno loves how Sid is when they’re alone. Clingy and responsive, shivering at the slightest brush of Geno’s skin against his. Geno is more than happy to oblige. He admits to Sid that he needs a lot of touch, and that his previous girlfriends found him over-affectionate. Sid tells him about how he almost never wanted people to touch him, but how now that the dam is broken with Geno that he feels half-crazy with how much he wants it. Wants everything. 

They just, forget, in the end. Sid is deep in conversation with Tanger after practice when Geno comes up behind him and absently wraps his arms around him, resting his chin on Sid’s shoulder, then nuzzling into his neck. They do this so much at home that Sid just pats at Geno’s arms where they’re wound around Sid’s waist, and tilts his neck to improve Geno’s access. 

“What-” Tanger says, just before Geno kisses Sid’s neck and it shocks both of them into remembering where they are. They freeze. 

“This makes a weird amount of sense,” Tanger says. And it’s fine. Anticlimactic.

After that, they get constantly fined for “gratuitous PDA,” but Geno blithely pays up and Sid can’t find it in himself to care. 

He has everything. Everything he’s ever wanted.  

**Author's Note:**

> Un beta'd.
> 
> Title is from "Soul Meets Body by Death Cab For Cutie. 
> 
>  
> 
> You can find me as [creaturesofnarrative ](http://creaturesofnarrative.tumblr.com/) (main) and [knifeshoeoreofight](http://knifeshoeoreofight.tumblr.com/) (hockey blog, where I'm most active) on Tumblr, and as @RainyForecast on Twitter. Come say hi!


End file.
